I’ve noticed that there’s really nothing stopping me from driving out into the middle of nowhere and finding a nice big tree to drive into…
it’s not really as if I like myself in any way shape or form… I’m ugly annoying lazy and not all that bright… I’ve failed as a son apparently because I know my limits… even if everyone thinks my limits are much further than they are… I’ve failed as a friend because I can’t bring myself to trust anyone dear to me… I’m somehow able to watch calmly as my entire world falls apart but as soon as someone asks me how I am I put on my mask of indifference and do whatever I can not to fall apart…
each day the tree is seeming like a more appealing thing… it becoming harder and harder to find reasons not to… I just want to curl up in a corner and stop feeling…
I envy those who are able to remain ignorantly happy… ignorance truly is bliss… it certainly is a shame I’m no longer ignorant…
